Cross Stitch thats NSFW...?!

Anyone who knows me personally will know I have somewhat of a potty mouth, if I ever kept a swear jar it would be very full after day one, so when I was looking into some interesting cross stitch sets to start with, Subversive Cross Stitch had the perfect sets for me.




With deluxe sets costing $20, and including everything you could possibly need to start stitching away, and the basic sets costing only $14, but being able to re-use the items from the deluxe set I thought it totally made sense to get a few, and start stitching away in proper style.


Here's one I made earlier! 
This was the very first set I made, but also my very first attempt at cross stitching completely, so I learned a lot along the way, along with some luckily reversible errors which made me just have to learn all the more faster!
I love the contrast of the lovingly stitched but also somewhat offensive pattern, topped with some rather cute bunnies around a little heart. How very sweet!


After posting the nearly finished piece on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter I was asked so many questions about where the sets were from, but also how I learned or figured it all out, so I thought what better way of showing these amazing patterns than with a step by step handy tip blog full of photo's and more....!


The first place to start is finding your centre, in both your pattern and your fabric.
Most patterns will have two arrow points that meet in the centre of the pattern, I prefer to mark off this point using a pen or pencil to make it easier to spot and then count from there to the closest stitches to start from, from there I have my reference point to get the pattern just right.


To find the centre of the fabric I simply fold it over twice, once each way, and the middle point will be the centre of the fabric.
This helps me to match it to the pattern and start stitching in the right area so I manage the get each stitch placed in the perfect space. Once the first letter has started to be stitched it makes it much easier to follow the rest of the pattern.


While your fabric is folded and the middle is clear, mark it off with a needle so that it's clear for when you put it onto the embroidery hoop if you choose to use one (you can do it without if you prefer!) and also to make the centre point extra clear for your first few stitches.


Unscrew your hoop to separate the two parts, you'll want to slip the complete hoop underneath the fabric, and with some gentle force, slip the hoop that has the screw section completely over the complete hoop to trap the fabric in between. 
If you're centre point isn't perfectly in the middle it doesn't matter too much, just as long as you have your stitches starting in the right holes, the rest will fall into place.
Once you have the fabric in place, tighten the screw and the fabric, but being careful to not make the hoops come apart again.


The thread usually comes in thick strands, of about six threads, but really you'll only want to use two.
Find two threads out of the six and carefully separate them from the rest before using this to thread your needle. 
You'll get three uses out of each strand this way, so you'll actually get a lot more thread than it initially looks.


Using the crossed lines on your pattern, and the dots in the fabric you can match and count out the right point in which to start stitching.
Find the closest point to the centre to start working on, with this pattern it was the h in whore closes to the middle....!
Start with the stitches running in one direction, you can add the crosses on once you've hit the end of the letter, you can easily count how many stitches you need by matching it to the X's on the pattern, and then working back up with the opposite stitch.
You can also cross over the stitch to work your way back from the ends or on corners.


This photo shows a little bit more about working your way back over the stitches to save on thread, and keep the pattern neat and tidy.
Once the h has been stitched, or whatever was closest to the middle, you can remove the needle and use the stitched letter to count from.


You can stitch across either working down a letter, or across.
It's actually pretty easy to get into the swing of it, and once it's clicked and you've figured it out (hopefully with a little help from this blog!) it starts to make total sense, so don't let seemingly complicated patterns scare you, I was surprised I managed to do so well with my first, plus every stitch is undoable and mistakes can easily be fixed without damage to the fabric as you are using the ready holes in the fabric rather than creating your own.


It looks quite nice in a very wrong but also amusing kind of a way....!!
Once you have it all figured out it's a lot quicker to do if you really want to get the pattern finished, but it can also be a lovely relaxing hobby, perfect for unwinding and having some quiet time.
My new office has a little couch in the corner that I can sit and sew on for some unwinding and chilling out, and I know I'll be buying so many more of these sets, and with so many to choose from I know I'll be sewing away for many years to come.


Each set is very generously filled with plenty of thread, this is how much I has left over from this set after I had finished the design, I nearly have enough to make a whole other one.
I've got a box now filled with the patterns and I can use them as much as I like, I just need to get more fabrics and threads, but I can imagine making these as fun little gifts for friends....well, at least my not easily offended friends...!


Subversive Cross Stitch has also just turned ten years old, spreading their twee filth all over the world one cross stitch at a time, and I'm so glad to have found their shop for everything that I could ever need, including more supplies, and PDF's of so many different designs that are always being added to.
Maybe best to not display them on your work desk, but I will definitely be framing these for my home, I'm proud of my rude little stitchings!


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