Grammy outfits, tip or fire the stylist...?

This So from what I understand being a British girl who has no interest in modern music OR celebrities (unless it's Jennifer Lawrence cos no one can dislike that girl) the Grammys is a big hoorah for receiving big shiny gold paper weights and being told "well done on that thing you done".
So the awards themselves have no interest to me at all, but what does interest me? Outfits?! They wear big expensive dresses?! Where can I see all of that?!? 
And so after trawling through photos of the outfits and wondering "who?! Who's that?? Never heard of them. My god look at that dress tho."  I've selected my Tip the Stylist winners, and my Fire the Stylist not quite right outfit choices for various reasons.

Tip that style genius -
This is something called a Taylor Swift, from what I gather she gets sad when men stop sleeping with her. 
Out of all the outfits this is the over all "Holy crap I wish I had that dress" winner. It's a Gucci column dress and costs more than my entire life possessions but this was a fantastic choice, flattering, eye catching for all the right reasons, and the shoes too...! I'm sure there's a colostomy bag hidden in there somewhere, but for that dress it's so worth it. I'd pee myself for it, hear that Gucci?! 

I wouldn't want to be standing next to her wearing this next outfit...oh dear god no.
What is that?! Where's the bad fairy wings that go with it?!? 
In America you can hire a woman to attend your child's party dressed as a fairy, and it was very nice of her to lend this dress to Katy Perry for the night.
Valentino are behind this travesty to fabric. Fire, then kick your stylist.

And now whoever this is wearing a Dolce and Gabbana dress. 
It's a bit more everyday compared to the other dresses, plus it makes her look teeny tiny so could have done with a few inches less skirt to flare just below the knee. Because of the length the old wear flesh coloured shoes to make you look taller trick doesn't actually work and does make it more like the cheaper barbies that had flesh shoe extensions that never came off. Good dress, but stern words need to be had for next time. Also hair up. 

Pink and red clash, here they really really do. This is a dress by Joanna Johansson but looks quite cheap to me, I'm sure I've seen similar in cheap clothing stores in shopping centers near cheap handbags and knock off designer shoes. 
It may look great on those of Jessica rabbit hourglass proportions as a skintight gown designed to show off curves, but due to lack of waist it's not flattering at all and doesn't suit sleeveless gowns. Get a new stylist, and maybe a corset. 

Now this I love, it's quirky, interesting, girly, vampy, sophisticated and fun all in one mix, and although she also doesn't have an accentuated waistline, the flesh stripe draws the eye away to the more interesting top section. This is Colbie Caillat wearing Ezra Santos and those names mean nothing to me what so ever so I can't really say more, but great styling even if the hair is a bit bland for such an event/ outfit. 

Remember Paris Hilton? Well she still gets invited to things, so good for her..! Sadly she can't afford proper dresses anymore and resorts to only buying the front half, and filling the back in with tippex and toilet seat covers. It also doesn't seem to fit right, the zip is bumped up which makes me wonder if it was tighter and better fitting it may actually look half decent. It's by Haus of Milani.
I'm sure if she still had a stylist, she'd be firing her today. 

BeyoncĂ© as usual comes in, all perfectly polished, constantly styled to the nines, and even while seemingly showing off her vagina as a feature here, still manages to somehow look stunning. 
I would prefer if the patten didn't have the weird vagina break, leave something hidden but as it was designed by a man, Michael Costello, I guess he didn't factor in the vaginal equations.
It reminds me of something Jayne Mansfield would have worn. 
Good stylist, nicely done. But next time, matching knickers or something, rhinestoned merkin? Glittery c-string?! 

And as an added bonus, Madonna shocks everyone!
By covering herself up. 
Wearing a rhinestone gloves as a tribute to Michael Jackson, and hanging around with a small child as a tribute to Michael Jackson. 
Really that is her son, and I've seen this outfit and combo compared already to Lucille and Buster Blueth, and also a Hasidic Jewish pimp. I'm just glad to not see her veiny withered body for a change, I know most celebs want to stay slim but I'd prefer if Madonna put a bit on so she didn't look so ill. 
Sometimes it worries me. 

Today I didn't get to wear any amazing gowns, as I was running around miserable London, where it's grey and raining, and the post office, and supermarkets generally aren't life's catwalk. I dressed for comfort and running around in my own way, a man shirt, androgynous make up, jeans, and a harness bra from agent provocateur. 

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